


Check, Please

by JustAGirl24



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire, A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Condom humor, F/M, Fluff, Tyrion is the condom imp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-02-23 11:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2545688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAGirl24/pseuds/JustAGirl24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaime and Brienne in a diner. Some condom humor ensues.</p><p>I decided to continue this a bit. For funsies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ikkiM](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikkiM/gifts).



> For ikkiM's birthday. Because she's awesome. (Sorry it's a couple days late.)
> 
> Little known fact: She is so amazing, people celebrate her birthday by dressing up.

"This is the part I dread every Saturday," Brienne said dryly, wide mouth quirked at the corner. Jaime gave her his most charming grin. 

"You mean when you have to say goodbye to me?" He watched Brienne roll her eyes, heard her mutter _idiot_ under her breath. 

"I mean the part where I try to pay for my meal, but you're always digging out your _stupid_ fancy black MaesterCard trying to beat me to it," she huffed. 

Jaime, who was currently trying to do just that, raised an eyebrow at her. Brienne raised one back. 

"I usually only let someone buy me dinner when I'm on a date," she teased, brushing a stray lock of straw-colored hair out of her face. 

"Maude thinks we're dating, you know," Jaime told her in a low voice, nodding toward the energetic blue-haired owner of the diner, who fluttered her fingers at the two of them from the counter. Brienne rolled her eyes again. 

"Maude is... Maude," she sighed, shaking her head. "She clearly doesn't have eyes in her head." Jaime frowned for a moment but decided to let it go. 

"We _could_ be dating," he said lightly, casually, but now it was Brienne's turn to frown. 

"Don't joke like that," she muttered, scraping at the table with her fingernail. 

"Who's joking, wench?" Jaime asked— _challenged_ —and went back to work trying to get his... 'stupid fancy black MaesterCard' out of his wallet with his good hand, teeth holding the other end. "We _should_ be dating," he asserted, muffled as it was, and let out a triumphant _aha!_ as the card came out—but not alone. 

The next thing Jaime knew, he was staring, horrified, at the Formica table between them, where a shiny square packet lay amongst the business cards and receipts. 

They sat in silence for several long, awkward moments, before Brienne finally spoke. 

"You did not just joke about me being your girlfriend and then throw a condom on the table, did you?" she asked flatly. Jaime's head shot up to meet her level gaze. 

"I wasn't joking about that!" he protested. Brienne looked at him, torn between hurt and hope. "Brienne, I wasn't," he said again, quietly, and placed his hand on her arm. "Also, would you believe me if I said I have no idea where that came from?" he asked weakly, and was surprised at the laughter escaping his best friend. "I'm serious!" he exclaimed. "Tyrion's always stuffing those in my wallet. I thought I'd gotten them all cleaned out." Brienne shook her head, and quickly and efficiently stuffed the cards and receipts back in his wallet, but her fingers hesitated over the condom before picking it up. 

"For the record," Brienne said slowly, meeting his gaze. "I only use these with someone I'm dating."

"Really?" Jaime drawled. "How long do we have to be dating?" he asked with a lascivious grin.

The dark flush rising up Brienne's neck and the shy smile he received in return was answer enough.


	2. Chapter 2

"You have not!" Brienne protested, bumping his shoulder with her own as they walked. He saw her face flush even darker out of the corner of his eye. 

"Months," Jaime informed her solemnly, but with a hint of a smile, nudging her back. She rolled her eyes and scowled in response. _"Months,"_ he repeated, this time with a grin. She responded with an annoyed huff. _She really does make more noise than an aurochs,_ he thought fondly. 

"I really can't picture you needing months to ask someone out," she muttered irritably, fiddling with her keys. Jaime raised an eyebrow. 

"Come on, wench, you're not just _someone_ ," he reminded her. She shrugged, started walking a little faster. 

"You know I'm perfectly capable of walking myself home," she said out of the blue, and Jaime let her change the subject. They'd come back to it sooner or later, he knew. 

"Oh, I know," he responded, perfectly serious, as they came to the little path leading to her front door. "You've been reminding me of that fact every Saturday for—is it a year now?" he asked, knowing full well it had been, and then some. 

"And yet I still hope it'll sink in one day," Brienne grumbled, and he chuckled softly. 

"You know me better than that by now." They stopped at the bottom of her steps, Brienne shifting from foot to foot as she picked out her house key, still avoiding his eyes. "Besides," he teased, _no time like the present,_ "if I didn't walk you to your door, how would I kiss you goodnight?" 

_That_ got the reaction he'd been hoping for, as she finally met his gaze, her jaw hanging open, her keys dangling from suddenly lifeless fingers. Jaime took a step closer and tucked her hair behind her right ear, watching her eyelids flutter shut and the muscles in her long throat work as she swallowed. He thought about kissing that throat, pushing her back against the door, letting his tongue run along each freckle, sucking a mark behind her ear, and found himself swallowing hard as well. Her pink tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip, and he was lost. 

Kissing Brienne was everything and nothing he'd thought it would be, her wide lips chapped but still plush, tasting faintly of the cherry Chap-Stick she favored. When the tip of her tongue hesitantly met his own, he groaned low in his throat, finally pulling away to place slow kisses on her neck. 

They were both breathing far heavier than they had been a moment before, and his pants were far tighter than a simple kiss really warranted. 

"Jaime?" she whispered, her breath brushing past his ear sending shivers down his spine. 

"Does tonight count as a date?" he murmured into her neck, only half-joking, before placing another kiss there. 

"Um... m-maybe," she stuttered. "But I-I think it's supposed to be, um, th-three... dates." 

"Mm," he hummed, nuzzling along her jaw and breathing in her scent. "We took that run together on Wednesday, does that count?" 

Brienne was silent for a few moments, before asking in a small voice, "Do _you_ think that counts?" 

Jaime gave her his best smirk, the one that always made her flush and look away. "I spent the whole time staring at your ass in those leggings of yours." Her blue eyes widened in a gratifying sort of way at his confession. "So just to be clear, _yes_." 

Brienne swallowed hard, then looked down at her fingers, twisting them in the hem of her shirt. 

"If you invited me in for coffee, I could be convinced to call it a third date," he suggested, and her eyes met his again. Her tongue ran along her bottom lip once more, his gaze fixed there as her teeth sank into the lush surface, still plump from his earlier kisses. She glanced at her door, then down at her keys, and took a deep breath. 

"D...do you want to come in...for coffee?" Jaime grinned. 

"Oh, wench," he purred, "I thought you'd never ask."


	3. Chapter 3

The wench was making coffee.

Straight up, honest-to-gods, _making coffee._

Water had been set to boil in the kettle, and Jaime watched her measure beans into a grinder—a sharp _whirring_ sound the only thing breaking the silence between them—before pouring the grounds into a glass-and-chrome press with quick, jerky movements.  He sighed as he leaned against the door jamb, propping his chin on his stump.

 _Really_. If there was anyone left in Westeros who didn’t understand what coming in for coffee meant, Jaime thought with a small amount of amusement, it would have to be Brienne.

Well, he’d never been accused of being patient. Jaime pushed himself away from the wall to stand behind Brienne, who froze as he leaned forward to wrap his arms around her thick waist, rubbing his cheek against the thin cotton covering her shoulder.

“I like…cream and sugar in mine,” he whispered, suggestion thick in his voice, and _gods_ he could hear Tyrion in his head, laughing at him trying to use that as a line. He let just the tips of his fingers skim under the hem of her t-shirt, brushing lightly against her side, and felt more than heard her sharp intake of breath.

“Well, um, I—,” she stuttered, head turning to look at him out of the corner of her eye, lips a breath away from his, “I only have, um, the…the powdered stuff.”

Jaime buried a fond grin in her shoulder, certain she’d think he was laughing at her if she saw it. _Gods,_ he loved this woman. “In that case, we’d probably better skip the coffee altogether,” he murmured, tugging on her hip to turn her around, pressing a kiss to her wide mouth. Brienne met him shyly, one hand creeping up his chest, the other clutching his empty wrist where it rested on her hip, and he couldn’t help a small moan as callused fingers brushed hypersensitive skin.

Brienne drew back sharply at the sound, blinking rapidly as her hand left his arm. She was simply staring at him, astonishing eyes wide in something like wonder, and Jaime could see where her flush had spread down her neck in the V-neck of her tee. His breath came in shallow pants to match hers, his cock half-hard, and a flush of his own warming his cheekbones, flustered himself at the effect she had on him.

“Brienne,” he rasped, grasping the hand still resting over his heart, but said nothing else, just stared back. He saw her give a small, swift nod, then her mouth was back on his, and Jaime found himself stumbling backwards down Brienne’s hallway, scrabbling with the hem of her shirt to touch bare skin. His breath left him in a sharp ‘oomph’ as his back met the wall, Brienne pressed against him, her teeth sinking into his bottom lip, and he felt a chuckle rumble through him. _Still sparring in this as in everything else,_ he thought fondly, grinning as she pulled away, her eyes bright, wary.

“What’s so funny?” she whispered, voice as rough as his.

“This. Us,” he answered. She drew in a sharp breath, misunderstanding, but he grabbed her hand, idiotic smile still planted firmly on his face. “How long I’ve wanted to be right here,” he finished, sincerity coloring his voice.

She released a shaky breath, looking down at their joined hands. “I still don’t think it’s the time for laughing,” she muttered.

“Hmm.” Jaime tugged her closer, nudging her nose with his own, giving her a quick kiss. “Is it a time for being…serious?” he asked, lips brushing her jaw before placing a brief, sucking kiss behind her ear, listening to her breath hitch. “I’m serious about _you,_ ” he murmured, “but this really should be fun, too.” He let his fingers brush lightly over her ribs, finding a ticklish spot there, delighting in her small, breathy chuckle.

“Okay,” she agreed, a smile in her voice, her long fingers running through his hair. Jaime happily went back to kissing down her throat, pulling her collar aside to lick along her clavicle as she sighed his name.

“Now, Brienne,” he purred against the patch of freckles he was currently acquainting himself with, nudging her the last few steps until they stood outside her bedroom door. “I don’t believe you’ve shown me this room yet, but I think we could have a _lot_ of fun in here.” He grinned as she rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her toothy smile, and lifted his eyebrows expectantly. She reached behind her, pushing the door open.

“In that case, I hope you remembered your wallet.”

Jaime grinned delightedly, walking through the doorway. “Is that a challenge, wench?” He watched as she kicked the door shut behind her.

“Always.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Check, Please: The Reboot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4202787) by [JustAGirl24](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAGirl24/pseuds/JustAGirl24)




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